Photogenic

I am not a photogenic person. I guess that might be why I find I adore being positioned behind the lens instead of in front of it. My family always had cameras at family functions and as I got older(around 12) I would offer to take the photos so the adults could enjoy themselves. This means of course that I became the photographer in my family. I loved this then and still love it now.

My sons are photogenic or better yet they have no choice but to be photogenic. With my camera in hand for a big deal or not, I take dozens of photos of them. The number of photos I have from the time before they were born, 4000 to 5000. That is how many I take in a month now! Their life is snapshot after snapshot, video clip after video clip - memories being captured before we even think that they will be memories. Every time I get one awesome photo, I hunger for more. I want to keep snapping, keep looking for that moment of pure bliss, determination, fascination, disappointment, wonderment and understanding.

Today I splurged and bought a home lighting system for taking photos. I don't care for going to a studio to do portraits anymore. My camera is awesome and it gets wonderful shots that can be super zoomed, cropped, edited, and turned into anything I want for much less. I decided to save myself the hassle of making appointments, worrying about cranky uncooperative kids, the ultra hot tiny studio rooms, and buying photos that I would not even care about if I took myself. I decided to take the next step in being the family photographer. I decided that I want the opportunity to do all the elaborate scenes and use all the crazy props I want to without having to explain my vision to the girl who just got hired last week to take portraits of total strangers. I decided I know when the smile is coming on my sons' faces better than anyone else, and that if things aren't working out well I can stop without looking like a weirdo. (Which I proudly am, but it freaks others out sometimes!)

So here I am staring at the box of my new lighting equipment and I am actually scared to open it. Scared that I will love it too much and that instead of 5000 pictures a month, I will be adding 10,000 pictures a month to my hard drive. I will wait until tomorrow. After all my kids are asleep, my husband gave up on me hours ago and went to bed, and even my pets have found a warm spot for the night. Time for bed to dream of all the grand ways I can capture the spirit of Christmas this season with the click of my camera lens.